Mother, Father and Mahatma Gandhi

[Prof. Dr. Yogendra Yadav]

Prof. Dr. Yogendra Yadav

Senior Gandhian Scholar, Professor, Editor and Linguist

Gandhi International Study and Research Institute, Jalgaon, Maharashtra, India

Contact No. – 09404955338, 09415777229

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Mailing Address- C- 29, Swaraj Nagar, Panki, Kanpur- 208020, Uttar Pradesh, India

 

 

Mother, Father and Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

Some women feel all kinds of fanciful desires and aversions at this time. The best way to combat them is to have regular Kuhne baths. This bath will increase strength, improve the lustre of the skin and ensure easy delivery. Many women have had this experience. It is also necessary to control these fancies when they come. It is possible to forget an object which the mind hankers after by disregarding the desire on one or two occasions. At all times, both mother and father must be careful of the safety of the child she is carrying. 1 Whenever I had occasion to indulge in these surreptitious feasts, dinner at home was out of the question. My mother would naturally ask me to come and take my food and want to know the reason why I did not wish to eat. I would say to her, ‘I have no appetite today; there is something wrong with my digestion.’ It was not without compunction that I devised these pretexts. I knew I was lying, and lying to my mother. I also knew that, if my mother and father came to know of my having become a meat-eater, they would be deeply shocked. This knowledge was gnawing at my heart. 2

My idea of a hostel is that it should be like a family. The superintendent and the students living in the hostel should live as members of one family. The superintendent should take the place of the mother and the father of the students. If the superintendent’s wife is also staying there the husband and wife together should discharge the functions of mother and father. 3 If you think you are not worthy of being a daughter, how much more fit should I become to be a worthy mother and father to you? If I who claim to be both, am slack in my effort to be so, I shall have no place anywhere in the three worlds. Let us, therefore, not argue who is worthy and who is not. If a son or daughter is unworthy, the parents bear no small responsibility for that. 4

If anyone says that his belief in untouchability is prompted by love I just cannot agree with him. I can see nothing of love in this attitude. If we have love for the untouchables we will not make them eat our left-overs. If we have love for them we will worship them as we worship our mother and father. If we have love for them we will dig for them better wells, build for them schools and admit them into our temples. These are the signs of love. Love is made of innumerable suns. When one small sun cannot remain hidden, how can love? Does a mother ever have to go about saying that she loves her child? A child who cannot yet speak looks into the eyes of his mother. When their eyes meet we can tell from their looks that they are in communion with something divine. 5 You cannot do social service by neglecting your duty to your father, mother and wife. This duty is not opposed to social service. It is necessary to understand the nature and scope of one’s duty to one’s mother and father. It is the duty of a husband to provide for his wife and to live with her, with due restraint, as long as she can tread the same path of duty. If the mother and father are invalid or poor and if they have no other son, it becomes one’s duty to provide for them and to serve them. 6 

You are always crying and seem restless. You do tell me that you regard me both as your mother and father. Will a child be ever afraid of talking to her parents, or feel shy? You do both. I, therefore, wonder what your real feelings are. Why should you have any secrets? You should not object to others reading your letters. Therefore while I have returned them to you, I did not like doing so. You should have the courage to say whatever you wish in front of everybody. One hides one’s guilt even when it is small. He who has acted truthfully hides nothing. If there is any suspicion that truth is being kept back, it comes out. 7 You say I am everything to you, yet you are unable to understand me. One would surely understand the person one regarded both as mother and father. One would not argue with him. Whatever he said would go straight to one’s heart. But what can I do when you remain untouched even after persuasion? What kind of a person are you that you hesitate to go to Shantikumar place? How much he does for you! 8 

I thought you were an innocent girl. One cannot think of marriage in this yajna. Yes, if your mother and father are keen you can get married but I cannot have the marriage here. Today I am burning in this fire-pit. Let us see what path God shows us in the end. You must complete your nursing course. 9

 

References:

 

1. Indian Opinion, 12-7-1913
2. From autobiography
3. Navajivan, 23-2-1930
4. Letter to Gangabehn Vaidya, October 2, 1930
5. Harijan Sevak, 12-5-1933  
6. Letter to Awadesh Dutt Awasthi, June 23, 1935
7. Letter to Manu Gandhi, February 5, 1945
8. Letter to Lilavati Asar, April 23, 1945
9. Fragment of a letter, November 25, 1947