For Global Peace with Social Justice in a Sustainable Environment

Brother-sister and Mahatma Gandhi

Prof. Dr. Yogendra Yadav

Senior Gandhian Scholar, Professor, Editor and Linguist

Gandhi International Study and Research Institute, Jalgaon, Maharashtra, India

Contact No. – 09404955338, 09415777229

E-mail- dr.yadav.yogendra@gandhifoundation.net;

dr.yogendragandhi@gmail.com

Mailing Address- C- 29, Swaraj Nagar, Panki, Kanpur- 208020, Uttar Pradesh, India

Brother-sister and Mahatma Gandhi

I see you address me Brother in inverted commas and underlined thrice. We may well call ourselves brother and sister. Our conduct certainly justifies it. But will you give me a sister’s confidence, if you say ‘yes’, I shall try to be ‘brother’ to you. No real increase in my family can be cause of sorrow to me. 1 We notice it between father and son, between brother and sister, friend and friend. But we have to learn to use that force among all that lives, and in the use of it consists our knowledge of God. Where there is love there is life; hatred leads to destruction. I hope that Anasuyabehn will help you to learn this great law of love and I ask you, if you recognize her love towards you, to reciprocate it by feeling in your own persons that same love towards the whole of humanity. The third rule is that we have to conquer our passions. It is called brahmacharya in Sanskrit. I do not use it here merely in its accepted narrow sense. He is not a brahmachari, who, although he may be celebrate or may be living a chaste life as a married man, otherwise gives himself up to a variety of indulgences. 2

The relations of the employers and the workers are again normal. We started the business of the meeting with two prayers. I hope every brother and sister here has reflected over these prayers. If any of them has not done so, I should like to draw their attention to them. Their tune was good, no doubt, but it is not to the tune that I draw your attention. I do so to the sweetness, the meaning, expressed through the tune. If we think over the two prayers, we shall see what a vast difference there is between jiva on the one hand and Shiva on the other, between the human being, man or woman, in all his or her weakness, and Almighty God. We can do nothing except through God’s will. God is the Supreme, All-powerful Existence, Whom we cannot but obey, against whom neither Satyagraha nor duragraha avails, who is omnipresent, omniscient and knows all. And so the prayer-song asks: “O God, what greatness yours, and what an insignificant, ignorant creature I am! What has one like me to do with pride and conceit?” We have but one duty, to pray to God, to pray to Him whether we are in bed or sitting, whether we are eating or doing anything else. This is what our shastras enjoin and our bhajans advise. The experience of all men points to the same thing. And so it is that we commence the business of this important meeting with prayers to God. 3

I have been analyzing my love for you. I have reached a definite meaning of spiritual wife. It is a partnership between two persons of the opposite sex where the physical is wholly absent. It is therefore possible between brother and sister, father and daughter. So far as I can see our relationship, it is one of brother and sister. I must lay down the law for you, and thus ruffle you. I must plead gently like a brother ever taking care to use the right word even as I do to my oldest sister. I must not be father, husband, friend, teacher all rolled in one. This is the big letter I promised. With dearest love I still subscribe myself. 4 That pure brother-and-sister relationship is the only proper relationship between boys and girls studying together. This is all I should like to say in reply to this question, but it is an important enough question for a fuller discussion. I have no doubt in my mind about the correctness of my reply to the first question. With regard to the second, however, I see some difficulties in these modern times when thousands of boys and girls attend the same school. In any case, in every institution that I have managed I have insisted on the foregoing rule being followed and the results have always been happy. 5

It is my opinion that whatever peace you get is because of your self-imposed binding. You can be sure about this. As long as you do not think of marriage, you stand absolved from your past sins. This atonement of yours keeps you pure. You can stand up as a man before the world. The day you marry you will lose your lustre. Take it from me that there is no happiness in marriage. To the extent Ba is my friend, I derive happiness from her, no doubt. But I derive the same happiness from all of you and from the many men and women who love and serve me. I derive more happiness from the man or woman who understands me. If, at this moment, I get enamored of Ba and indulge in sexual gratification, I would fall the very instant. My work would go to the dogs and I would lose in a twinkling all that power which would enable one to achieve swaraj. My relation with Ba today is that of brother and sister, and the fame I have is due to it. 6 I place this correspondent’s example before every Gujarati brother and sister. Those who firmly hold the faith that India can win true swaraj only through peaceful means have no need at all to employ other means. Swaraj through peaceful means is possible only when the people have single-minded devotion to a common mission. Violence becomes unavoidable when some people become impatient and coerce others who do not co-operate with them. This, of course, is not swaraj. It is nothing but falling out of the frying pan into the fire. It is not likely to benefit the millions of our people reduced to skeletons. On the contrary, they will be unwilling victims at a sacrifice. The custom of offering human beings as a sacrifice, which is considered a thing of the past, will be revived. This custom undoubtedly persists in Europe. What else are the recent terrible wars there if not human sacrifice? If they take place in India, they will involve millions, because they are not courageous enough to resist them. 7

In the Ashram where I live, every child, brother and sister has orders not to use the word ‘Mahatma’. None should refer to me as ‘Mahatma’ even in writings. I should be referred to as Gandhi or Gandhiji. Those who heckled Bhai Jamnadas have insulted me, have violated peace. Ours is a peaceful struggle. There can be no peace without modesty. Peaceful devoid of modesty is lifeless. We are worshippers of the life-force; and living peace consists of modesty and discretion. I would therefore advise those who heckled Jamnadas to apologize. Jamnadas paid me high tributes, but even if he had said that there is no man as pernicious as Gandhi and anyone who thinks it has a right to say it nobody has a right to obstruct him, he should be listened to with respect. 8 If the destructive one had the upper hand, all the sacred ties love between parents and child, brother and sister, master and disciple, rulers and the ruled, would be snapped. Ahimsa is like the sun whose worship, as the symbol of God, our rishis immortalized in the Gayatri. As the sun “keeps watch over man’s mortality”, going his eternal rounds and dispelling darkness and sin and gloom, even so does ahimsa. Ahimsa inspires you with love than which you cannot think of a better excitement. And that is why my faith in the wheel, which is a symbol of peace and love, is increasing as I grow older. And that is why I do not think I am committing an impropriety in spinning whilst I am talking to you. As I am turning the wheel, I am saying to myself: “Why does God give me my daily bread, whilst He starves multitudes of men? Let Him starve me also, or enable me to do something to remove their starvation.” And as I turn it, I am practising ahimsa and truth which are the obverse and reverse of the same coin. Ahimsa is my God, and Truth is my God. When I look for Ahimsa, Truth says, ‘Find it out through me.’ When I look for Truth, Ahimsa says, ‘Find it out through me.’ So the rhapsody easily became one on charkha and ahimsa instead of that on ahimsa alone. 9

Attend to Father to the best of your ability. When the wife dies and there is plenty of outside activity to attend to, it is the children who can make their father forget all his sorrow if they are devoted and attend upon him. I tell you both brother and sister this is my own experience as an obedient son of my father. I am also witness to the immense good done to children in such a case. Every moment of life I am enjoying the fruit of having served my parents as God. I write to you all this because I know that Father has a heavy burden to carry. I myself am unable to share it. I cannot find the time even to write to him. So I am passing on my responsibility also to you. 10 But I am told that this is an impossible ideal, that I do not take count of the natural attraction between man and women. I refuse to believe that the sensual affinity referred to here can be at all regarded as natural; in that case the deluge would soon be over us. The natural affinity between man and woman is the attraction between brother and sister, mother and son, or father and daughter. It is that natural attraction that sustains the world. I should find it impossible to live, much less carry on my work, if I did not regard the whole of womankind as sisters, daughters or mothers. If I looked at them with lustful eyes, it would be the surest way to perdition. 11

If the married couple can think of each other as brother and sister, they are freed for universal service. The very thought that all the women in the world are his sisters, mothers or daughters will at once ennoble a man and snap his chains. The husband and wife do not lose anything here, but only add to their resources and even to their family. Their love becomes free from the impurity of lust and so grows stronger. With the disappearance of this impurity, they can serve each other better, and the occasions for quarrelling become fewer. There are more occasions for quarrelling where the love is selfish and bounded. 12 If brother and sister are of the same age, the sister can ask the brother and learn things from him. It is a sister’s duty to do what will be for the brother’s good, regardless of their age. 13

What you say about Padma in your letter shows how dangerous was the close association of you two. Both of you were forcing yourselves to behave as brother and sister, while deep down in your hearts you felt yourselves to be husband and wife. But that is an old story now. Padma will of course know the fact when you get married, but it is too much to expect her to find a girl for you. It is beyond her capacity, but even if it was within her capacity, it would be undesirable to do so. We just cannot burden her with such a responsibility. You have no reason whatever to feel helpless. Write to me without hesitation any foolish or silly idea that may occur to you. I will not misunderstand what you say, for, I have faith in you and even blind love for you. I believe that you will never deceive me. I am not in the least unhappy at your simplicity of mind. If your simplicity is a cause of fear for you, it also acts as a shield for me. You yourself may tell G. V. Pant, Harivallabh or any other of your acquaintances in Almora to guide and help you. Do not think of the high or low social status of the girl concerned, consider only her character. Write to Devdas. He may possibly have some girl in view. It would be good if you spend about a month in Kosamba and learn the harmless method of extracting honey. The whole course takes a month and a half to complete. But really speaking, it should not require even that much time. I am firmly of the view that for industrious people like us, a week or fifteen days at the most are sufficient. 14

The boys and girls living in the Ashram are like blood brothers and sisters. Just as brothers and sisters cannot marry, so also those living in the Ashram at the same time cannot marry. The relationship between brother and sister is not friendship. It is a pure relationship and of a kind which a man or woman can have with any other woman or man. Brother and sister never wish to be alone. There is nothing secret between them. 15 The Kanya Vidyalaya cannot be run today solely by women. We do not yet have a sufficient number of such women workers. A few institutions seem to be run by them, but even in their case men help indirectly. There is no harm in this. Men’s help will be needed for some years at least for running institutions in accordance with our ideals. They are part of our experiment also. There must be some men who have something of the woman too in them. If men and women can never live together without getting disturbed by sex attractions, their brahmacharya is not brahmacharya. Do not mother and son, father and daughter, brother and sister so live? Why, then, cannot men and women who are not so related live likewise? If we are sincere, we shall progress through our mistakes and realize one day that what seemed impossible has become possible. 16

Even if either husband or wife desires their relations to be like those of a brother and sister but cannot live like that in the same house, it will be their dharma to separate. 17 The married couples who voluntarily observe brahmacharya are only brother and sister. But you were not even fit to be husband and wife. How can a man who had relations with a woman ever marry her? I have nothing to say if the sanctity of marriage rites has no importance in your eyes. In that case your relations with Ganga and Narmada should be considered innocent and such a word as immorality should disappear from the language. I am still striving with you because you respect my opinion. However, do not take any step as long as you are not convinced of my arguments. Whatever you do, it is bound to be difficult. I know that it is not easy to overcome passion. My duty is to help you to purify your thoughts. One should not see morality in sin. Passion makes one see right in wrong. Now do whatever you think is proper and stick to whatever you do. It is easy to say this but difficult to put it into practice. 18 Every Hindu brother and sister should go to villages and put in hard labour, not for the sake of wages but in a spirit of service. We should clean up Muslim villages and rebuild their houses to convince them that once again we have become their brothers although for a time we had gone berserk. 19

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