The Hidden History of the Church Confessional

[Rev. Dr. Chad Dunn]

iBY CHAD DUNN

In many modern churches, a small, enclosed booth is used by the penitent and priest to mutually engage in the Sacrament of Penance. The very personal oral exchange that occurs between two sides of a concealing wall is similar to an act partaken at a glory hole, where a penis, aching for relief, is attended to anonymously by another who kneels. The similarity of a dark, private church confessional to an adult video booth is no coincidence.

It is thought by certain kink historians that the very first glory hole (or gloryhole) was established in ancient Greece. The Oracle of Delphi, hidden in the shadows of a small temple, would provide relief to travelers seeking aid and advice. The Oracle was a priestess who would enter a divine frenzy when using her unique talent. In homoerotic Greece, this skill quickly became adopted by eager male counterparts.

During the reign of Pope Saint Gregory VII, the Catholic Church of the Holy Roman Empire built cathedrals throughout Europe that were fairly jammed with confessionals. Gregory was the first pope in many centuries to rigorously enforce the Church’s ancient policy of celibacy. A typical Medieval cathedral was overflowing with horny priests. This required numerous confessionals.